Exactly a month ago I was spending my time with amazing people in Marche, Italy. What I was doing there? Well, my close friends decided to get married, so I couldn’t imagine to not being with them in this very special and important moment in their lives. Besides I’m still a huge fan of wedding parties and marriage itself, even when my marriage collapsed. I can’t just stop believing in LOVE! 🙂
I was wondering what I can give them as a wedding present? It was consuming a looot of my time, but then I got it. BOOM!
1.I’m a life coach.
2. I have marriage experience.
3. My parents had that day their 35. wedding day.
4. I’m in love with my life.
5. I’m totally happy now.
So I decided to combine all these points and offer them the best what I can do:
some coaching tips for their future with annotation:
Please keep it, read it and use it whenever cloudy days will knock to your door and maybe one of these tips will be only shortly reminder, maybe some something new, but I hope you will always remember them. 🙂
LOVE IS A CONSCIOUS DECISION
Love is free, conscious decision. What does it mean? It means that I accept and I take responsibility for this relationship. That I love and I will love all weaknesses of my life partner. These which he has now and also these which will come. It means that I’m ready for this and even if it will be hard for me I want to do this, I want to be with my partner. I’m open to take them all, because I know that I’m not perfect and I have my weaknesses too. I want to support my partner and I want that my partner will support me. I love my partner and I know that he loves me nomather what.
Maybe there will come days where you or your partner will fall in love in somebody else and you will feel that love between you disappeared, believe me, love between you won’t disappear. So if something like this will happen, that one of you will fall in love in somebody else it will be only fascination, it won’t be love. It will be hard sign for both of you, that now is the time to start work on a new project and you both need to work hard on finding solution.
You will hurt yourself 1050 times during your journey or even more and you will not be more patient like you were at the beginning and you will be sick of your daily habits like hair under the shower or tiredness after work and many many more, but plase take it as a challenge, not as a problem. Because you will start to see your love as a problem and you know it is not.
LOVE IS A CHALLENGE. MARRIAGE IS A CHALLENGE.
Do you know what is a difference between partnership and marriage?
Partnership ends when problems start to come out. It means that partnership is limited. You love someone only in your own comfort zone, till its borders.
Marriage means love which is overcoming own comfort zone. Love in a marriage is free, is not limited. You can not put it in a frame, so please let your love live in freedom, just how it was create. Don’t put/ set bounderies on and in it.
I LOVE, SO I COMMUNICATE WITH YOU
There are 5 types of love languages:
- words of affirmation
- acts of service
- receiving gifts
- quality time
- physical touch
In case that you haven’t yet recognize your own language, you need to discover it. But you know what? That will not be the end of your work 😉 If you want to succed in your marriage you need to explore and learn the love language of your partner. Of course it won’t be easy, but I’m sure you’re gonna make it 🙂
I suggest you also to do daily briefing about your “Top of the day”, good and bad, small and big. During it you can eat, you can drink, you can lie on a sofa, you can take a walk, sit on a balkony and watching stars. Just do together what you are fancy to do in this moment, but it needs to stay in favor of your active listening. It’s more about keeping you and your partner in-sync by sharing the thoughts that go through your mind throughout the day. You might think that silly internet meme you saw online is not worth mentioning, but if you take the time to share it with your partner, you are creating a link that ties you two together. If you don’t bother to tell your partner about your day about your thoughts, you and your partner will begin to live very separate lives and this will breed distance rather than intimacy. My favorite psychologist Amie Gordon says that:
(…) and it is just as important that you make sure you are open to listening when your partner wants to share their thoughts and feelings with you. Don’t sigh or look at your phone or say you don’t have time. Instead encourage their disclosures as a way to support your partner and get closer to them. Their disclosures might be something small and silly to you, but it might be really meaningful to them.
Be understanding, validating, and caring. Express interest in your partner and be engaged. Show how much you care. Share your love.
To get more about love languages I recommend you one of my favorite book of Gary Chapman: ” 5 Languages of LOVE”
hmm…Do I want share something more about love? Oh yeah!
LOVE IS ENDLESS MERCY
Well yeah! You thought that I will write here about butterflies in the stomach? Sorry, it’s not that story 🙂 In love is going more about mercy. So please feel free to ask each other for mercy and be ready to forgive. Forgivnes should be your daily bread. Thanks to it you will create particular bond between you and it makes you grow.
Ending this post I wanna add only one thing: ENJOY YOUR LOVE, because it’s the best thing it could ever happen to the man, so keep it and care about it the best you can.