When I was a child I was dreaming a lot. I was drawing myself in a space rocket travelling to the Moon. I was sure that when I will turn 30 we will be living the World like “The Jetsons” do. I was climbing trees not because I wanted to be higher and higher, but I was curious what I will see from above, I wanted to see more, so I climbed many times same tree, but each time I was choosing diffrent way. You know, a tree changes in every season. It is actually changing all the time. Year over year it is diffrent, so it was always so exciting for me to climbe same tree, because it was never the same.
…and then I got bigger. My Indiana Jones adventures I changed to typical girls’ dreams: boyfriend, marriage, family. So when I was 22 I got married. Was he the love of my life? Did I know what the love is? Well, I thought yes, but I was wrong. 7 years later I got divorced. Did I already mention that I’m Polish and I was raised in a strict catholic family? 🙂 Well, now you can a bit imagine how hard was for me to make the decision about divorce and to go through the whole process. I was abandonend and left completely alone. I have never in my life felt something like this. Some of the people said to me that my marraige is my cross and I should carry it till the end of my life…, but the thing is that I’m not Jesus. I don’t want to play God. It’s not my job to be the Savior. I’m a human being, I fail, I make mistakes and in all of these my imperfecions I’m perfect human being and this is good and I’m happy that I’m human being. I’m happy that I got this amazing possibility to live, so I want to have happy life, so of course I try to follow Jesus teaching, but I’m not living to live His life or somebody’s life. I live to live My Life. The thing is that the way to live your life can take some time. My was pretty long.
After divorce like most people do, I decided to change my life. I started from 0. I quit my job, got a new haircut, left my dream about working in embassy behind, started new study, tried new things and involved in new relationship. It took me next couple of years, years of struglling with my past, anxiety, my negative thoughts, hiden feelings, focusing on stuffs which apparently should make me happy, but… I wasn’t happy. I was missing something in my life, but I didn’t know what and then I read about coaching. I found it very intresting so I decided to get more knowledge about it and I found University with best coaches in Poland, studied there and let myself to be coached for a year and you knw what? That was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. It changed my life completely. I discovered what is the essens of my life. I found this puzzle which I was missing for so many years. I found the Love of My Life.
Since then I don’t waste more my time, because time is precious and ths is My Time. I cut off all the toxic relationships I had, also this one which I had with myself and that was the hardest one, but I did it 🙂 I chose to be happy. I chose to live My Life. Now every day I choose to be happy. Every day I choose to live My Life and I still have hope to leave this world a little bit better than when I got here, because Every Day I become Better.
One of the famous British athletes, Steve Backley said: “There are three types of people in this world. Firstly, there are people who make things happen. Then there are people who watch things happen. Lastly, there are people who ask, what happened?” So… which do you want to be?
Roksana M. Weber
Make Things happen today :) 